Overanalyzing SpyxFamily: Familial expectations and fatherhood *Pretentious essay warning* and random connection to Pinocchio

Been rereading SpyxFamily the past 2 weeks on a whim and since the last time I read it (2023), I’ve really warmed up to the series. It’s funny, wholesome, relaxing, and heartfelt in every possible way. Though it does feel like the majority of chapters are fillers cuz they don’t have anything to do with the main plot (taking down the main bad guy, etc), I feel like that’s not really a negative thing for a series like this. The point has always been mainly slice of life and forming a genuine bond between characters despite the imminent war looming above them.

1st time I read it was kinda my turning point into how I looked at specifically the ‘Shounen’ genre. I remember one chap during Yor’s arc on the ship or smth and thinking: This series is not gonna take itself seriously, murders, espionage and extremistism are happening left and right, they live in a country with Soviets secret police ready to kill anyone out of line. So this is Shounen huh-

Idk, I was probably having higher standards when it comes to manga, didn’t read much back then so quite arrogant of a prick I was.
Now I appreciate any form of art for what it is whether it’s for adults or kids, fandoms or casual viewing, I just accept the simplicity of: I consumed smth and I like it or don’t like it. That’s it
All in all: 9/10 love it. I’ve only read it til chap 41/121 so I still don’t have a full understanding of the current story yet so yeah, ‘pretentioius’

Long ass context out of the way, the meat and butter of this whole thing. I want to say smth to preface this: Loid Forger is a good father. Not really a hot take cuz I think 99% of people reading it would agree with that statement after reading a few chapters in.
Looking at this from a realistic standpoint, I think this family is fucked, really fucked.

The most stable person in the family happens to be a hired killing machine obsessing over dead traitors. Though taking from her life constantly caring about her brother puts Yor in the most functional individual out of the 3. Anya’s upbringing from the moment she was born was to be a guinea pig used in the war and as far as I can tell, she doesn’t really remember much of that. Thank god cuz this kid would have constant panic attacks 24/7 holy shit. 5 years being raised in a lab, then roughly a few months before being adopted, been moved to multiple orphanages; most likely not made long term friends, or been acquainted with any of the caretakers, recognized as weird for obvious reasons. Still, she’s a kid. And being now a member of the Forgers, it’s a lot better for her and probably be the best thing she’s ever had. I think it’s not perfect, far from it actually, but the family does strive to adapt and change for one another.
Loid/Twilight is the most fucked up individual in the entire series imo, let alone in this family. His life and job has been to manipulate, control and ‘break’ people, physically and mentally til they give him intel as he throws them into the dumpster. Just another day’s work for him: breaking promises, lies and giving people he betrayed ptsd and horror of who to trust and not trust.

Most fucked up thing I’m bothered with is how he put so much expectations towards Anya. She has to go to essentially the equivalent of Harvard for 6 year olds after. In one chapter, in seeing how Loid constantly forces Anya to do homework, Yor said: ‘Maybe you shouldn’t put so much onto her. Don’t you think about what she would want?’. That stuck out to me as I look back and realized how mechanical his thought process is when raising a kid. Math-ing out how she can study efficiently, planning days to accommodate here loneliness by going outside; like, for god’s sake man, she’s fucking 6. What’s more saddening and damning is her ability: reading minds/telepathy. Anya knows if this family doesn’t work out, she’ll be discarded. She knows the stake of 2 nations at war are dependent on her. She HAS TO behave, she HAS TO get good grades, she HAS TO be a ‘good kid’. But is that really what she wants? These thoughts plaguing her mind are from Loid, he’s not directly the one cramming these ideas but it’s not Anya’s fault for being born like this. This kid has to reluctantly worry about the impending doom of war, keeping her familial relationships intact and tantamount of expectations solely depends on her, a 6 year old while also worrying about living as a commoner amongst her peers full of nobles.

Well in general, I feel bad for all the kids attending there having to learn fucking geometry, write reports, in the case of Anya, getting discriminated for not being wealthy, all at the age of 6. And having the reputation of Harvard-like education in the nation, these wealthy parents instills concrete goals into these kids head as successors of corporations, politicians. Obviously the manga takes this in a much more lighter and positive tone. But I still can’t get that reality out of my head.

But given his circumstances, I can’t say his actions are illogical. The entire world seems to be at stake here, the mindset of every job he’s been in is probably ‘get it done or die trying’. Plus, the elephant in the room is the fact that, like Anya, he also had nothing at a very young age. Or rather, lost everything at a young age. With most glimpses into his past as a kid only about his mother cuz that all he remembers. Everything else is missions, war, infiltration, deception, facade, etc meshed together. He doesn’t get to live as a civilian.

In chapter 38, Loid and Desmond first encounter, I think the author wants to show the duality of the 2 in terms of how to raise their kids. Desmond neglects his son, forcing him into a dorm to be self-dependent, rarely communicating with him, expects him to be able to manage and take his place through many others but himself. Loid is seen as a contrast to that with us as the audience, seeing him grow and become a more proper human being with sympathy, adapting to the family life. He leant how to make Anya happy, and puts in effort to be around her more.

Despite that, these 2 men have one thing in common: they don’t know how to be parents, resulting in them putting future burdens on their children. To be the best of the best by achieving 8 Stella stars, the elites of the top. It’s frankly, fucking insane. 2 men most likely raised in that environment now puts that the constant toll on their kids.

‘Once upon a time, there was a piece of wood’ in the original book, Pinocchio signifies the simplicity of this creation, easily melded into existence, influenced by countless others outside of his control. Yet, many Pinocchio films, never stays a mere puppet. Their innocence rebel against anything standing in their ways based on ambiguous decisions, unwavering thoughts of getting the most out of the present.
In Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (yes, I am going there), there are 3 main forms of fatherhood: the State, Gepetto, and the circus master. Del Toro puts this story into a remarkable event in history: pre-WWII. One of the most controlling periods of time in history as children gets ‘carved’ into unsympathetic killing machines, mere puppets if you will, serving all powerful dictators. Pinocchio comes into play as a sort of whimsical chaos to the world, having the guts to even slander Mussolini in front of his face. Then gets shot and dies.
As Jacob Geller puts it: it echos more the message of ’to what degree do fathers owe their sons’ and ‘fathers need to change’. ‘Gepetto recognizes that one son cannot simply replace another, that the joy of parentage is discovering who your chid is, not deciding who they should be’.

I don’t think kids should ever feel like they owe their parents anything. They were not born of their own volition, they don’t get to choose who takes care of them or who their family is until they’re an adult. The most terrifying thing for me is